Preparations

I have the privilege this week of going to a blessed saint’s home and helping her to prepare her Last Will and Testament. I have all the questionary forms printed out, and am going to help her to prepare for that which we do not want to prepare. Last week, a good and godly man came and asked me about which is better, a Will or a Trust. I told him that a Will is simpler to make, and I like to keep things simple. It seems to me that the last few weeks in my life, the end of December 2010 and the beginning of January 2011 are times when the Lord seems to be telling me to make preparations, not only for others, but for myself.

Prepare to meet thy God

The reality is that none of us know when we will die. The great majority do not know of “what” it is they will die. I have been at the bedside of godly people when they breathed their last breath. I remember speaking to my friend Dr. Robin Wright just two days before his untimely (from our view) death. He was in such a positive mood. He talked and talked about his preaching tour out west that he was leaving on in a few days. He was so excited. Then I got the call two days later from his dear wife that he had died in the night. He was making preparations for a trip that he did not take, when hindsight tells us he should have made preparations for a trip that he inevitably would take. Yes, he was saved; so Heaven would be his destination. But so many loose ends stayed. His wife got the brunt of that. His sons and daughter tackled more than they thought they would have had to tackle.

Bro. Shepherd (front row seated), Dr. Wright (standing), friends with the Lord

This last Sunday, I was bothered most of the day, while preaching, while singing, while “moving around,” with the swollen nodes in my neck. These are the nodes that I spoke about in my previous post. I did not tell anyone at the time, and only told my wife later when she noticed I was not responding well to other things going on. Every time I moved my head, the collar of my shirt seemed to let me know the nodes were there, ever present, not going away. I know what my dear friend Bro. Mike Hoover is thinking right now: “Townsend, get rid of the tie! And loosen that collar!” Good counsel Bro. Mike. I received a call from my good friend Pastor Ben Mott today. He enquired of my Cancer and asked how I was doing. My response was “Okay.” Anyone who knows me well, knows that I usually answer with either “Great(!)” or “Fabulous(!).” I have noticed my doing that more often now. “Pastor, how are you doing?” “Okay,” I answer.

"I'm Okay."

I met with a dear brother a few weeks ago for a bit, one that I had some conflict with over the years. I basically “poured my heart out” to him. I wanted him to know that I only wanted to see him succeed with the Lord. I wanted great things to happen to him and his family. I asked him, “Is there anything in the last year that I have done to have offended you?” He replied, “I have a big long answer – (deep breath and smile) NO!” I breathed a sigh of relief. I don’t know if my pouring my heart out was well received or not. I can only do what the Lord wants me to do in matters such as this – and that is “Prepare.” “Make sure thy brother” is how I put it to him, in obedience to Proverbs 6:3: “When thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend.” How many others will I feel led to go to in the next year? Brothers I have offended in the way past? Would I ever even find them all?

"Make Sure Thy Friend" (Proverbs 6:3)

I have considered 2011 my “Year of Preparation.” Preparing the church for a new pastor someday when I am no longer able to pastor. Preparing my home so that my wife has all the benefits of having a husband that cares for her future, and makes all the plans in advance. Preparing someone to take over the Zambia ministry of helps to my daughter Jennifer. Helping the church in Zambia complete their building. Preparing the Ecclesiastical Law Center’s future staff and workers to take over for this vital ministry to the local churches. Yes, all these things are on my mind. I even have to make preparations to get some kind of insurance for people who do not qualify for insurance since they already have a terminal illness. I believe it is called “High Risk” insurance. Isaiah 38:1 comes to mind, as Isaiah went to Hezekiah, who was “sick unto death,” and said, “Thus saith the LORD, Set thine house in order: for thou shalt die, and not live.”

"Set thine house in order: for thou shalt die, and not live."

I have already counted this year as my final tour to churches in which I have preached over the years. I am telling each of them, all the wonderful people in which God has allowed me to be apart of their lives, goodbye. I purpose to do this in the church I pastor also. No, I may not die this year, but still, we must live as if we could go home at any moment. My last words to my son before our accident was saying his name – “Jeremy.” I was able to tell him goodbye as he lay motionless beside me in the car. People should know you love them before it is too late to tell them.

My Spirit of Brokenness - September 11, 2001

2011, ten years after the most horrific accident of which I have ever known, the year my heart broke and God humbled me, and I have never had to fight with my pride since, is also the year of “Humility.” 1 Peter 5:5 states: “Yea, all of you be subject to one another, and clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” May I have the grace to make all my preparations with humility, seeking others’ benefit in my life. May I “very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved (2 Corinthians 12:15).”